Blog #3 Nesting...done wrong

I had never heard of “nesting” before we did it.  Now, it seems fairly common and there’s even a Prime Time Show on NBC about it.  

 During the process of our divorce, we were remodeling our dream home.  The kids had been waiting for years for their own rooms, as we moved from 1400 square feet to 4800.  And since I was driving the divorce…I felt bad.  Guilt is a dangerous thing in decision making. It can make you choose things that aren’t the best for everyone.  In this case, I was guilted in to living at this ‘dream house’ for 4 years with my Wusband and Kids.  

 Four months ago, I finally moved into my own place.  I was talking with my 18 year-old about the whole thing and he said something that shocked me:  he said that he knew the nesting arrangement was really hard on me and that he wished we had just pulled the plug and sold the house in the beginning.  Although he completely appreciated what we did for him, he said it just gave him anxiety knowing that this “situation” was going to end at some point in the near future.  

 Huh…..  Had I known this, I might not have put my life on hold for 4 years!!!!  Looking back, I think I should have done what was best for me, and the kids would have adjusted.  In the end, keeping the house almost bankrupted us, and it added this underlying stress that we weren’t really identifying.  Nesting as a 6 month to one-year option? Totally doable.  Beyond that, pull the plug and move on….for everyone’s sake.