I’ve now been divorced for almost 2 years. Sometimes I’m in shock by how I got here but I don’t regret it.
I was reflecting back on that critical moment when I decided to do it and tell my then Husband that I was done. I had been seeing this therapist Linda. She was hard on me. In the beginning, she told me we had, “A lot of work to do” which I found insulting, and she would give me weekly assignments to deal with family issues that had trickled into my marriage. (I had a very healthy upbringing and childhood, so I was dismayed to here that a therapist thought I had a ton of issues.) After seeing her for two years and working through all the reasons the marriage really wasn’t working, I lost my nerve about going forward. I went in to see her for my 10AM appointment on a clear day in the Spring of 2013. I told her that this has all been very insightful and I’m glad to have done the work, but that I didn’t see the point in going forward with a divorce, that my husband would be in my life even if I did divorce, and the financials and family dynamic made this too difficult for me. She paused for what seemed like a good minute, and said, “I’d like you to leave.” I laughed and said, “Seriously, I just don’t think it makes sense”. Her response was that if after all this work, I was going to take the ‘chicken shit’ way out, that she was done working with me. I’d been fired.
She was right: I was afraid. But I did move forward and the experience I’ve had is something I wouldn’t trade. That doesn’t mean it’s been good; there have been awful, awful moments but I am a far better me. And, by the way, my ex-husband (Wusband) is far better off too J