Healing through Divorce


Jon Cuizon


Divorce is a crisis, a trauma, a drama of great proportions. It affects all aspects of your life, and can lead to mental, energetic, emotional, financial and physical exhaustion. 

It forces you to consider and address things that you just don’t want to contend with. 

It is full of shame, guilt, confusion and grief - which is normal, human.  All parties are in pain, even if they don’t necessarily admit it or show it. 

Can we have a miracle in the midst of this absolutely impossible time?  I believe the answer is yes. I believe in miracles.  And you can have one…but you have to fully commit to your self, to your deepest integrity as a soul, to a profound love that can release you from the bondage of misery and return you to freedom, peace and a sense of purpose and well-being. You have to believe there is a magnanimous force that will come to your aid in this impossible time.

You have to feel the loss of identity and know when you are holding a victim’s consciousness.  

It destabilizes your social position and family dynamics, so how do you move through it gracefully. 

These all add up to a deep spiritual crisis.  What if there’s a way to heal all of this in a way that you cannot even begin to imagine?  A miracle.

This is where I believe the real work must begin.  Yes, these other areas, mental, energetic, emotional, financial and physical aspects are going to need tending to, each equally and carefully, but the one single aspect that can bring a “highest good” outcome, will be derived from the spiritual healing that is at the base of all of these. Though it may not feel like it, there is divine purpose behind all that is, and has, occurred.  Believe it or not, our “Spiritual Self” created this condition, in an unconscious collusion, with your partner.  Your infinitely intelligent souls created this condition so that you would grow.

This did not happen ‘to you’ (victim consciousness), as much as it happened ‘for you.’

You have to acknowledge the pain, the loss, the anger, shame and disruption - move towards it, not away from it - gain everything you can from this time - learn as never before about yourself.  In times of great chaos, there can be unbelievable opportunity for you to change, grow, heal - perhaps for the first time in your life.

You can dissolve this, resolve this, in a way that is humane - first and foremost with your self.

This is a time to reinvest in your self.  Discover and know what your unconscious toxic beliefs are - befriend them and learn to integrate them.

Balance your authority with your responsibility. 

Move into forgiveness.  The power of forgiveness.  It is a solvent, like water, it acts as a divine agent of dissolution.  It will move you out of stagnation, rigidity, hardness.  it allows for you to flow once again. 

The illusion of power…and the fight for it.